More Than a Convenient Bride Read online

  Because it was congenital, this was quite possibly a temporary fix. As Tommy matured, the stenosis, which started in his lumbar spine, could gradually work its way upward into the thoracic, then cervical spine. This might be one of several surgeries he would need to stabilize his spine before adulthood. But other than his back being less flexible, he would live a long, productive life. Just not as a gymnast. And he would have the bonus of impeccable posture.

  Luc stopped outside the patient’s door, where a nurse stood updating his chart on her laptop.

  “Is he all settled in?”

  “Yes, Doctor. He was pretty uncomfortable so I gave him pain meds. He’s sleeping now and his vitals are good. He seems like a real trooper. He always has a smile on his face, even through the pain.”

  Kids were resilient. It was the parents who were typically the toughest to deal with. “Are the parents in there?”

  “His mother stepped out to get coffee. She should be back in a minute.”

  “And his father?” Luc asked.

  “Not here. And from the sound of it, he won’t be coming to Royal.”

  “That’s a shame.” Luc knew that having a chronically ill child could devastate the soundest of marriages. He’d seen it all too often. But to not be there for your child who’s having major surgery? What sort of man was this boy’s father?

  Though he had studied the chart thoroughly, he gave it another quick look to be sure that nothing had changed before he stepped into the boy’s room.

  He was indeed asleep, and though he looked small and fragile—all skin and bones—his color was good. Luc checked his vitals again, then he eased him onto his side to see his back, and checked his feet. Despite the loss of feeling in his legs, his circulation was still adequate. There wouldn’t be any permanent damage.

  He heard someone behind him and turned, his usual greeting on the tip of his tongue and ready to go...then froze when he saw the woman standing there.

  The spark of recognition was instantaneous, but it took another ten seconds to determine that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. That it really was his ex-fiancée, Amelia, standing there holding a cup of coffee and a gossip magazine. The woman who’d shredded his heart like confetti and ate it for breakfast without batting an eyelash.

  “Amelia,” he said, more a statement than a question, and regretted it the instant the words were out of his mouth. But it was too late now.

  She flashed him a weak, tired smile. “Hello, Lucas. How have you been?”

  Meeting new patients could be hit-or-miss, yet of the dozens of scenarios he might have imagined, this one didn’t even come close to making the list.

  She hadn’t really changed all that much. She was a little thicker around the middle, and a little older. The stress of her son’s condition showed in her face, in the fine lines at the corners of her eyes.

  For a good ten seconds he was at a loss for words.

  You’re the physician, he reminded himself. The one with the upper hand. And she was just the mother of the patient. Nothing more. He had to keep this professional. Yet he heard himself saying, “Should I assume this isn’t a coincidence?”

  “Yes and no. Tommy’s doctor in Houston told me that he knew another doctor with more experience in this sort of surgery. I had already made the decision to come when he told me who and where the doctor was located. Of course then I knew it was you.”

  “And you came anyway?”

  “It’s not about me.”

  She was right. Nor was it about him. And he had no right to question her motives.

  Keep it professional. “Why don’t we talk about the surgery.”

  “Okay.”

  He went into surgeon mode, describing the procedure and recovery in layman’s terms, feeling a bit like a robot. It was the same speech he’d used countless times before, but now it felt stilted and awkward.

  “His doctor explained all of this in great detail,” Amelia said. “He said permanent paralysis was a possibility.”

  “That is a possibility, but given your son’s age, and the fact that he’s in otherwise good health, I don’t foresee any complications,” he said.

  Of course there were no guarantees. Complications could arise, but Luc was confident the surgery would go smoothly. Besides, she didn’t have much choice at this point. “No surgery comes without risks. But without the procedure, the spinal column will continue to narrow. Then you’ll be looking at paralysis, loss of bladder and bowel function. Excessive pain.”

  “I know all that,” she said, looking conflicted. “I just needed to hear it from you. Of course he needs the surgery. And I trust that you’ll take good care of him. How soon can you do it?” she asked.

  “It would be next week at the soonest.”

  Her mouth fell open, eyes went wide. He knew that look as well as if he had seen it yesterday. “Next week? But he’s in pain! I assumed you would do it right away.”

  He sighed quietly. That was Amelia, always expecting things to be done her way. “I’m already booked up this week and most of next. I have to check with my secretary, but I think I can squeeze it in either next Thursday or the following Tuesday.”

  “You can’t do it any sooner?”

  “Thursday or Tuesday. That’s the best I can do.”

  She nodded slowly and said with a weak smile, “So, no special treatment for the ex-fiancée, huh?”

  Is that what she’d expected? Special treatment? “I have a busy schedule,” he told her. “Until the surgery we can control the pain and at this point there’s no danger of permanent damage. But he will have to stay in the hospital so we can monitor him.”

  “If that’s the case I’m staying here with him. In the room,” she said, her chin lifting a notch, as if she were trying to challenge his authority, when there was really no need. This combative attitude was unnecessary. As her son’s surgeon, his patient was his main priority.

  “You’ll have to talk to your son’s nurse about hospital policy,” he told her. “But I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

  “There is something else I wanted to ask you, that, uncomfortable as it is, I feel needs addressing.”

  He made a point of checking the time on his watch. He was already running late. “Okay.”

  “I need to be sure, because of our past, that you don’t see this as a conflict of interest,” she said.

  Several years ago it might have been. But after getting over the initial shock of seeing her again, the only thing he felt was a medical obligation to care for his patient to the best of his ability. As he always did.

  And she was nothing more to him than the mother of his patient.

  “There’s no conflict,” he said, and he could see the instant she noticed the ring on his left hand.

  “Oh. You’re married,” she said, sounding surprised.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Anyone I know?”

  “No.”

  She paused, as if she was expecting him to give her a name, or details, and when he didn’t, her smile wavered. “I’m very happy for you.

  “In case you’re wondering, I’m divorced now. For almost two years. He traded me in for a younger model,” she said, bitterness dripping from her words. “They moved to San Antonio and are expecting a baby. He sends Tommy gifts, and calls occasionally, but he never comes to see him.”

  None of Luc’s business. He was her son’s doctor, not a confidant.

  He checked his watch. “Is there anything else—?”

  “Leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made,” she blurted.

  Oh, what he would have given to hear those words six years ago, but it was too late to turn back. He was happy with his life just the way it was. He didn’t love her anymore. He hadn’t for a long time. Maybe all along he’d only been
in love with the idea of her, and deep down she had never been what he needed.

  Julie was, though. And he did need her. More than he’d ever realized.

  “I’ll talk to my secretary and see about scheduling the surgery,” he told Amelia. “In the meantime I’d like to run some tests.”

  She looked up at him with big blue eyes that used to melt him on the spot, and he felt nothing. Not a single damn thing. He was beginning to wonder what he had ever seen in her. Had he changed so much since then?

  It was clear now that all these years he’d been wondering what-if had been a waste of time. Now he knew. Even if she hadn’t dumped him, he seriously doubted they would have lasted very long. Her narcissism would have eventually driven him away.

  “You don’t want to talk about it,” she said. “I get it. Just let me say that I’m really sorry for the way things turned out. I know I hurt you. I hope someday you can forgive me.”

  He might have laughed if he wasn’t so appalled. Same old Amelia, thinking she was the center of the universe, and he refused to take the bait.

  “I’m ordering tests today. I’ll let you know when I get the results.” Or more likely, he would tell one of his residents, who would then notify her. The less contact he had with her the better.

  “I really am sorry,” she said softly, looking genuinely apologetic, but she was six years too late. He turned and walked out without another word.

  * * *

  Julie set up a folding table and chair to make a small work space for herself at the foot of Elizabeth’s bed where she could keep an eye on her while the nurse, who had been up most of the night, took a few hours to nap. Luc had spared no expense on his mother’s home care. The room was as efficient and well equipped as any hospital room Julie had ever seen, yet it lacked that sterile atmosphere that was inevitable in a hospital setting. But if his mother’s health continued to fail her, Luc would have to consider hiring another nurse for the overnight shift.

  As fragile as Elizabeth was now, Julie was a little nervous being even temporarily in charge of her care. She was too emotionally invested in the relationship to be impartial. Elizabeth was her mother-in-law, but more than that, she was becoming a good friend. A bit like the mother that Julie never had.

  When Julie and Luc first discussed their childhoods, she had asked him about growing up without a father. Did he feel resentful or cheated? Had he ever wished his mother had remarried?

  My mother gave me everything I could have possibly needed, he’d said. We took care of each other.

  They still did. Julie wished she could have been so fortunate, that there had been someone in her life who always had her back, who loved her unconditionally. Wasn’t that what everyone wanted? What everyone needed to feel whole? Luc had brought her closer to that feeling than anyone in her life ever had.

  “Are you in love with my son?”

  The sound of Elizabeth’s voice startled her. She looked up from her laptop and saw that her mother-in-law was watching her. “You’re awake. How do you feel?”

  The older woman’s shoulders lifted in a shrug and she smiled weakly. “Eh, I’ve been worse.”

  Her strength of character, her resilience, never ceased to amaze Julie. She could only hope that faced with similar circumstances, she would handle her condition with equal poise.

  “So? Are you in love with my son?” she asked again.

  “He’s the most important person in my life.”

  “But that isn’t what I asked, is it?”

  Julie hesitated. Luc was right, his mother was sharp as a tack. “Elizabeth—”

  She held a hand up to stop her. “No, no. You don’t have to explain. You feel what you feel. I know how that is. But a mother can hope, can’t she?”

  Julie picked her chair up and moved it closer to Elizabeth’s bed. “I’m honored that you feel that way, that you would want me in your son’s life, and I wish things were different. I really do. What Luc and I have is very special, it’s just not...” She struggled for the words to explain.

  “Luc was my miracle baby,” Elizabeth said. “Did I ever tell you that?”

  Julie shook her head.

  Elizabeth smiled wistfully. “His father and I had been trying for five years to have a child.”

  “Wow, that’s a long time.” For her and Luc’s dad it must have felt like forever.

  “Back then there weren’t as many options as there are now, but we did everything we could. I was young enough to keep trying, but Luc’s father was seventeen years older than me. He felt as if he was getting too old. I was his second wife and he had two grown boys when I met him, so he’d been through it all before. I couldn’t blame him for his feelings. But, as these things sometimes happen, when we finally made the decision to give up, when I resigned myself to the fact that I would never have a child of my own, I got pregnant.”

  “Luc doesn’t really talk about his father.”

  “He doesn’t remember him. But they’re so very much alike. My husband was a simple man. He believed in hard work and family, and giving back to the community.”

  “That does sound like Luc.”

  “We used to own one of the largest ranches in the county. He always hoped his boys from his first marriage would want to take over, but they had no interest in the family business. Or me for that matter. That ranch was his life and out of respect I wanted to keep it running, keep it in the family, but then I had my surgery and everything changed. I couldn’t keep up with the day-to-day operations, and like Luc had no interest in ranching. I knew he was meant for greater things. The proceeds from the sale of the business paid for medical school.”

  “Luc said his dad had a heart attack.”

  “A massive coronary,” she said, looking so sad, even all this time later. “They found him out in the field, his horse at his side. They told me that it was instantaneous, that he never suffered. I always took comfort in the fact that he died doing what he loved most.

  “That’s why I believe in seizing the moment. Living as though every day might be your last.”

  “I was in love once,” she told Elizabeth. “I met him at university. I thought he was the love of my life.”

  “But he wasn’t?”

  She shook her head, the pain of that time still as real and sharp as a slap in the face.

  Elizabeth frowned. “If you’re uncomfortable talking about it...”

  “It’s not that,” Julie said. It was just embarrassing to admit she had been so desperate for love. So gullible.

  “You have to bear in mind how I was raised,” she told Elizabeth. “I had no positive male influence in my life. My sister and I grew up believing that nothing we ever did was good enough.”

  “Oh, honey,” Elizabeth said, patting her arm. “You’ve done amazing things with your life. You’ve dedicated yourself to helping people. You should be proud of your accomplishments. No matter what anyone else thinks.”

  That was easier said than done. “I try, but there’s always that small part of me that says it’s not enough. That I could be doing more. That I’ll never quite measure up.”

  “Inner demons,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “There’s nothing more difficult to face than your own overinflated expectations. Believe me, I’ve been there.”

  Julie certainly had her share of those. “I found most men intimidating at that time, but there was something so different about him. He was so gentle and kind. He filled a place in my heart that had been empty for so long. I was able to set my fears aside. I was convinced he would never hurt me. At first.”

  “But he did.”

  She nodded. “Things started to gradually change. Little things at first. He became more critical and more demanding. He wanted all of my attention. He resented my friends, my professors, my homework. But I was so desperate for some
one to love me, to accept me, I was blind to what was happening, to the way he was gradually tearing down my self-esteem, shrinking my world until I was totally dependent on him. By the end, he controlled nearly every aspect of my life.”

  “Love makes us do foolish things,” Elizabeth said, and something in her eyes said she was speaking from experience. “Especially when we’re vulnerable. The important thing is that you got away.”

  “It took every bit of courage I had to walk away from him. I was miserable for months. He had me convinced that I needed him. But as time passed and things moved into perspective, I was disgusted with myself, and embarrassed that I let it go as far as it did. I felt as if I should have known better. The first time he called me stupid I should have walked out the door.” She paused, shaking her head. “No, not walked. I should have run for dear life.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Elizabeth said. “You were vulnerable and he took advantage of you. He was a predator.”

  “And he was damned good at it. I haven’t been in a serious relationship since. I still don’t trust my own instincts.”

  “Do you trust Lucas?”

  “I do.” With her life. He was the only person she trusted unconditionally

  “You believe he would never hurt you?”

  She could see where Elizabeth was going with this, and though Julie hated to disappoint her, there was no way around it. “Not purposely, no. But Luc and I will never be anything but friends. I love him. I can’t imagine what I would do without him. Hands down he’s the most important person in my life.”

  “I know he feels the same way about you.”

  That didn’t change anything. “I’m sure as a mother, you want what’s best for Luc,” Julie said.

  “Of course.”

  “Even if we were in love, he deserves someone without all the emotional baggage. It would be unfair to lay that all on him.”

  “Everyone has emotional baggage, Julie. Everyone. Even Luc.”

  Yes, well, some had more than others. Elizabeth didn’t realize that Julie was doing both her and Luc a favor. She didn’t know the first thing about being a wife. Or a daughter-in-law, for that matter.